Friday, October 16, 2009

Dark night of the soul ~ on being compassionate to my self

working through the Artist's Way during the Dark Moon has been one hell of a journey. Reading through Week 9, I realised that closing Tales of Inglewood had been a creative U-turn for me. Julia described perfectly how I was feeling.. closing the blog, shamed by my reaction: ashamed of what people were thinking of me.... then realized that I do love my blog and to talk to my inner child that it is ok to blog without an obligation to others, that I don't have to apologize for how I am. To blog for my creative self..

but I still felt silly for 'over-reacting' to how I felt.. so reading some more, I saw that by closing Inglewood and taking time away, I could recycle things.. bring those that I loved back to a new blog when I am ready to return..

Going through this Dark Moon I have actually found alot of help from Spirit, in being directed to a book by Thomas Moore. Dark Nights of the Soul. I went to the book shop today and only one copy on the shelf, which is now mine.. and honestly, this man wrote this book for me.. I am engrossed with the book..

out of the Dark Moon time came this poem.. it is not polished but it came from my fingers while I sat listening to Gregorian chants last night, while many candles burned to bring some light into my Soul:

My soul follows the Moon
falling from light and fullness
to the darkness of my soul
matching that of the Moon.
struggling with day to day life
not knowing where to turn
ever forgetting to look within
my heart aches
like a crack of lightning.
needing to journey inward
to find love & understanding of self
to sit in the darkness
accepting, nurturing, in stillness
until the Moon once again turns to Full.
to Light.

3 comments:

Meredith said...

Oh, Robyn, that poem is lovely... I've been feeling a lot of resistance this week to the Artist's Way, and I think one of the reasons is that I'm horrible at being compassionate to myself. It feels like pulling teeth, generally.

Sending you a boatload of compassion for Robyn as she continues her journey (I have no problem sending it outward!).

And by the way, I think you did the right thing over at Tales of Inglewood, especially if it clearly gave your artist child the message that you would protect her feelings and integrity above all else. Bottom line: It's not overreacting if your artist child felt parented and cherished.

Thanks for sharing about your u-turn.

Brian H said...

I don't know you; we've never met.

But I think you write very beautifully. I just wanted to tell you that.

I stumbled upon your blog because I did a Google blog search for 'Dark Night of the Soul'. It is a book I love - one of my favorites. But it is not the same book you describe.

It was written in the 16th Century Spanish mystic named John; he was a Carmelite monk, who named himself 'John of the Cross'.

His book - which is actually an extended commentary on a poem by the same name - carries different themes, and has a different meaning for what the 'dark night' is. (If you like, you can read a little more about it here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dark_Night_of_the_Soul).

In any case, I think your blogs are interesting; I think, too, that your soul - as you have expressed in in your blogs - is also interesting. I would like to add you to my blog list, if you don't mind. Thanks for writing.

-Brian

gemma said...

I think this will be a nice break for you. Inglewood is still there where you are, even if you don't blog about her just now. I think it's beautiful that you've opened some new channels. Looking forward to Tasmania. Thanks Robyn for keeping me on your journeys.xx