once again for me, The Artists Way is coming back to faith, trust and belief in a God/Goddess/Creator.. call it what you will.. I just don't believe that prayers are answered.. coming from a family constantly telling me to get up off my knees, because God never did us any favours.. God helps those who help themselves.. but when I do pray (and that is not very often) I utter the words, hold my breath, not really expecting them to be answered and if they are.. I tell my self it is just fate..
I find it very difficult to believe in the Worlds abundance is there for everyone, when I look at the world, the poor and the starving - do they not pray?? and then when I do pray and ask for 'things' I feel guilty because there are thousands, millions, alot less fortunate than I am.. so I tell myself I must be happy with my lot
am I not getting something here in the book???
I really, really struggle with this belief in Spirit, it is a real struggle for me.. has been all my life.. like I am not quite 'game' to fully trust that there is something bigger than me.. just incase there isn't and I am let down again.
I just don't' get where any of the exercises are taking me... they don't make a whole lot of sense.. like what would I do if it weren't too selfish? go live in an ashram?? or what would I try if it weren't too crazy?? what the hell kind of question is that? what is crazy? jumping of a bridge?.. just do not get where this is going.. week 5 *sigh* all that I seemed to do was write loads of rubbish.