finally this sunk in. reading the Basic Principles every day, I had been expecting to sit, pray for guidance to the Creator to guide me & lead me to create some kind of masterpiece much like Leonardo or Monet. Shoot for the stars I say! BUT over the past few days amidst the dreadful turmoil of my wise woman group seemingly disintegrating into a million pieces, I sat and contemplated the cards, worked through it in my soul journal, writing and illustrating for hours on end, coming up with some very deep intuitive answers. I suddenly realized, that what I had been doing was creating. I am creating my soul journey. it was like the Creator hit me in the back of the head with a brick. While sitting drawing or collaging, my soul is still and I am conversing with God. (I use the word God, some say Universe, some say Goddess.. finally, God sits ok with me). I am creating magick in my life and THAT is ok, it doesn't have to hang on the wall ...
(last time I worked through the Artists Way, the Creator began to plant seeds in my mind about gathering a circle of women at Full Moon to do ritual and create magick, at my home here at Inglewood. I started to jot ideas down but it never eventuated, I let the moment slip from my grasp and life went on. Although, I did co-create the group that has been in trouble over the past week. The Creator has started to prod me once more since I began the Artists Way this time, small reminders of what I am to do with a circle here. I feel feelings of discomfort coming, I squirm, I am not brave nor courageous enough to put myself out there and create a real life circle. I don't want to step out of my comfort zone, although I know it will be for my own good if I do... and anyhow, this AW journey is all about creating ART not magic circles, right?)
so going through the week:
ARTIST DATE: check - I went for a meditative walk and found my new wand stick.
MORNING PAGES: check
CRAZY MAKERS: I am beginning to believe that I could be my own biggest crazy maker.
FIVE IMAGINARY LIVES:
1. a dress designer
2. a merchant, like Marco Polo, travelling Spice Route to China through Persia, Turkey & India
3. a yogi living in an Ashram
4. a member of an indigenous tribe - connected to Earth spirituality - an American Indian or an Australian Aboriginal.
5. an acupuncturist/chinese herbalist
then somehow I started to think about God.. and some thoughts in my notes were:
"I do believe in God, I have actually worked through the aversion to that word and am now comfortable using it. sometimes though, I do question if God is real. But there has to be something. I know and feel that there is something bigger than me. I do tend to become fearful of believing in a Creator, that if I put all my eggs in that basket and fully trust, then I might discover that it was all a joke, a lie, that there is nothing, no God. and it is not about the religious God, the God that every one argues over who is right. this is about the very beginning, the God/Universe/Creator - .. before Druids, Celts, ancient tribes, witches & pagans... the ONE who is responsible for all that is" - *phew* that was very heavy. but that is what comes of my journalling.. constant soul searching stuff.
see? crazy making goes on in my very own head.
i did find it difficult to list things that I enjoy doing. actually didn't quite get this.. but I wrote a few things...
writing my blog, rides on the Harley, creating rituals, making soup, gardening and wandering around nurseries, dancing when we go out, browsing op-shops, taking walks in the bush and sitting on Mother Earth. I enjoy watching Doc Martin and I enjoy eating oranges sprinkled with salt.... I love walking the beach, discovering rock pools and finding sea-glass (we all know that is treasure, right?)... I love going away for bike weekends, drinking way too much red wine, dancing like a whirling dervish and letting my hair down..(of course I do not enjoy the next day)..
I didn't remember to do the affirmations.. completely forgot, but next week I will work through them, hopefully.. onto Week.3!!
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4 comments:
I know you wrote such rich stuff here, but I have to say, when I read "oranges sprinkled with salt" an image of a hand with a shaker and the most beautiful wet orange flew into my brain. I have to say, I've never eaten an orange with salt! Perhaps I may have to try!
Isn't it interesting that the first time you did this process, the notion of starting a group came into your head. This time around, a group you liked has fallen apart abruptly. On its own time perhaps?
I believe a magic circle would definitely fall into the creative journey aspect. Maybe change is necessary for you at this time re. your women's circle, however, something else may develop for you in a different form.
I have an aversion to the word God....not a strong aversion but so much so, that I use other names in place of it. I think it's mainly because I attach the word God to organised religions and I have a strong aversion to those.
What a treat to find your new wand stick on your artist date!
This is very lovely and poetic and deep.
I love most what you say about creating your own life instead of something that hangs on a wall.
And creating a circle is creating my dear.
And I am sure you had to push your comfort zone to create this online circle. Who knows where these steps, brave small one at a time, will end up leading you.
You already are braver and bigger than you can see yet, imho.
Your AD sounded wonderful. I'm not sure what a wand stick is but it sounds magical. I cannot wait to go on a proper AD.
I don't use the word God. I like using the word Creator instead. I think it is more peaceful sounding and I can connect with it more.
I have never had a salted orange. What a strange combination. I guess I shouldn't knock it till I try it though :)
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