months ago, I booked myself into a weekend retreat which is coming up in November. I have paid half of the cost so far.. this workshop is given by an Aboriginal woman and is not a regular thing, only coming up once or twice a year. Last time I booked into it, I had to cancel because of family circumstances.... I am looking forward to this, we sit around in circle and create our own spirit stick.. (and MinMia's health is failing and I may not get another chance at a workshop with her... and I know that her gathering will help me connect to Australia and may even uncover some Aboriginal ancestry)
just today, my mother called and told me that they are having an 80th birthday party for her partner.. and that they are also getting married. After 21yrs together, they have decided to tie the knot for his 80th... but it is on the same weekend as my retreat. I told her ages ago about this and what date it was and now they have gone ahead and booked a hall and all the other trappings that goes with something like this. I asked if she could change the date, but really it is all too much for her to do.. I understand that. But I don't want to give my retreat up. I know this sounds very selfish. I have offered to go down the next weekend after 'the wedding' and take them out to lunch.. but all I get is 'your sister is coming'.. and guilt rears it's ugly head. Inside a voice screeches 'what about me??". .. I know not one of you can tell me what to do. This is a personal decision.. I just have to laugh at the synchronicity of Chapter 5 and this happening...all related to what Julia Cameron calls 'The Virtue Trap" and being self destructive... dammit, I want to put myself first for once and I want to feel ok with that.