yesterday as you know i didn't get to post... I had my Wise Woman Circle, where we worked with Isha Lerner Inner Child cards and I was just too washed out to even think of doing any Soul Coaching work... I did make some notes but truthfully - I am having a struggle this week. A month or so ago, I worked through the book 'Something More' by Sarah Ban Breathnach and we covered alot of what has been in Soul Coaching the past few days and I just don't feel up to uncovering more at the moment.. so I am being gentle with myself, following my intuition.
a few thoughts from yesterdays notes: "the affirmation clicked finally with me while sitting at my Wise Woman circle: "I am moving into harmony with everything - including myself".... I find walking in Katoomba a real energy juicer for me. It is a power spot for my soul. I can just walk and recharge and I feel blessed that I live in such a magickal powerful place.. as I have said before, in the past, I have suppressed emotions - not good - my liver is the organ that absorbs all of these emotions, and I believe is on toxic overload because of them..." so there you go, not much from Day 10
onto day 11:
At the moment, I feel that I am not really participating in Soul Coaching in the way I 'should'... I keep forgetting about what I am 'supposed' to be doing each day... going merrily along my way then at the end of the day, I think :'oh shoot, I forgot to notice my emotions, I didn't say the affirmation enough' - etc, etc. Then I feel like I have 'failed'...... I am having a dreadful struggle this week, to actually catch the negative thought patterns. (and now I will worry because according to many self-help books, that sentence may manifest) - but I truly don't know if I can change this negative thinking pattern and that worries me - alot. I WANT TO CHANGE!!!
my whole life cannot continue to revolve around this soul journey, all the time. I mean ya gotta live & sometimes life - just is.
and at last - some bloody questions about spirit !!! thank God.
I guess I get spiritual inspiration from everywhere. Sometimes I wish I were a person who followed one path - life would be simpler. But no, I dabble.
and the name of Spirit? ooh something else i struggle with as i have mentioned. thinking i 'should' call the creator either the Universe (doesn't make awhole lot of sense to me) or the Goddess... - but God sits right, feels familiar I guess. But then I struggle with the whole christian patriarchal system... but for the time being God it is.
I don't understand the whole concept of God. Is God a separate entity who helps us through life? Or are we God and God is us?? - if I am God, then why don't I love myself as God supposedly does? (yes, deep questions, these are the types of questions I have asked all my life. Father Michael our local priest many years ago, would run when he saw me coming, truly. I was also sent home from Sunday school when I was about 10 for asking too many questions)
and what do I want Spirit to know about me??
I struggle with my Spirit, but I guess you already know that.. seeing as you are with me always. I need help. I desperately need to let go of negative thinking, so that my soul is at peace. I want to stop searching and struggling with my soul journey and JUST BELIEVE. And I wish to know how to begin to love myself...
and of course I am willing to let go... and allow Spirit to guide my life. Can someone tell me how??
after sitting quietly: I just realized that my purpose in life is to love myself. I go through life, reading self help books.. asking advice from many different people, trying to fix myself.. when I am not broken. I am perfect the way I am. This is something I must remember.... & another profound thought: 'when I believe in 'others', the unseen... then I will begin to believe in myself.....
the Universe is amazing... I just did an online flower card reading: flower reading and I got Passion Flower... perfect for me right now... Like Krishna and Christ before him, Satya Sai Baba knows the true meaning of I Am Consciousness. He asks that we all recite the following prayer many times a day: " I Am God, I Am Not Separate From God. Remember who you are. Blessings."