Wednesday, November 12, 2008

(day 10 - thoughts) and day 11 - at last Spirit!!!

yesterday as you know i didn't get to post... I had my Wise Woman Circle, where we worked with Isha Lerner Inner Child cards and I was just too washed out to even think of doing any Soul Coaching work... I did make some notes but truthfully - I am having a struggle this week. A month or so ago, I worked through the book 'Something More' by Sarah Ban Breathnach and we covered alot of what has been in Soul Coaching the past few days and I just don't feel up to uncovering more at the moment.. so I am being gentle with myself, following my intuition.

a few thoughts from yesterdays notes: "the affirmation clicked finally with me while sitting at my Wise Woman circle: "I am moving into harmony with everything - including myself".... I find walking in Katoomba a real energy juicer for me. It is a power spot for my soul. I can just walk and recharge and I feel blessed that I live in such a magickal powerful place.. as I have said before, in the past, I have suppressed emotions - not good - my liver is the organ that absorbs all of these emotions, and I believe is on toxic overload because of them..." so there you go, not much from Day 10

onto day 11:

At the moment, I feel that I am not really participating in Soul Coaching in the way I 'should'... I keep forgetting about what I am 'supposed' to be doing each day... going merrily along my way then at the end of the day, I think :'oh shoot, I forgot to notice my emotions, I didn't say the affirmation enough' - etc, etc. Then I feel like I have 'failed'...... I am having a dreadful struggle this week, to actually catch the negative thought patterns. (and now I will worry because according to many self-help books, that sentence may manifest) - but I truly don't know if I can change this negative thinking pattern and that worries me - alot. I WANT TO CHANGE!!!

my whole life cannot continue to revolve around this soul journey, all the time. I mean ya gotta live & sometimes life - just is.

and at last - some bloody questions about spirit !!! thank God.

I guess I get spiritual inspiration from everywhere. Sometimes I wish I were a person who followed one path - life would be simpler. But no, I dabble.

and the name of Spirit? ooh something else i struggle with as i have mentioned. thinking i 'should' call the creator either the Universe (doesn't make awhole lot of sense to me) or the Goddess... - but God sits right, feels familiar I guess. But then I struggle with the whole christian patriarchal system... but for the time being God it is.

I don't understand the whole concept of God. Is God a separate entity who helps us through life? Or are we God and God is us?? - if I am God, then why don't I love myself as God supposedly does? (yes, deep questions, these are the types of questions I have asked all my life. Father Michael our local priest many years ago, would run when he saw me coming, truly. I was also sent home from Sunday school when I was about 10 for asking too many questions)

and what do I want Spirit to know about me??

Dear Spirit,

I struggle with my Spirit, but I guess you already know that.. seeing as you are with me always. I need help. I desperately need to let go of negative thinking, so that my soul is at peace. I want to stop searching and struggling with my soul journey and JUST BELIEVE. And I wish to know how to begin to love myself...

and of course I am willing to let go... and allow Spirit to guide my life. Can someone tell me how??

after sitting quietly: I just realized that my purpose in life is to love myself. I go through life, reading self help books.. asking advice from many different people, trying to fix myself.. when I am not broken. I am perfect the way I am. This is something I must remember.... & another profound thought: 'when I believe in 'others', the unseen... then I will begin to believe in myself.....

the Universe is amazing... I just did an online flower card reading: flower reading and I got Passion Flower... perfect for me right now... Like Krishna and Christ before him, Satya Sai Baba knows the true meaning of I Am Consciousness. He asks that we all recite the following prayer many times a day: " I Am God, I Am Not Separate From God. Remember who you are. Blessings."

15 comments:

Caroline said...

I think you took the words out of my head...especially in your Dear Spirit letter. I am going to try that flower reading!

Serena said...

thanks for the link, robyn.

my advice would be not to feel so pressured by the 'soul coaching' course. if you don't say the affirmation throughout the day, so be it. let your own instincts guide you.

for the most part, i read the day's lesson each morning. i write out the affirmation once and that's the last i see of it til i sit down to type up my post. i trust that my mind absorbed it in the morning and, by being fully present in each and every moment of the day, i believe i am on the right path and things will flow as they should. so, if you have failed, then i have failed....but i know i haven't failed, so that means you haven't either.

there is no right way or wrong way in doing this course so, remember to be gentle with yourself, Robyn.

love, light and peace,
serena

Leila Anasazi said...

I'm not doing so "perfect" at all the "Soul Coaching" stuff. Some days I'm through all three levels, most days--but not all--I get level one and scratch at level two or three.

And the affirmation? I read it. About twice so far it really clicked and I reflected on it a couple of times throughout the day.

Actually, I am pleased with my participation at just the two simple levels: I read Linn's entry for each day, and almost every morning when I wake I ponder the element for the week.

And really, I'm letting myself be satisfied with just that, and reveling in anything else that comes of that. Really, I think that's "perfect".

Genie Sea said...

Reading your post, your struggle, and many of ours, was humourously and truthfully portrayed.

Yes! Love you! We do!

Your letter to the spirit...absolutely fantastic!

ina said...

i haven't even gotten the book yet (hopefully it comes today)! i have been participating by reading all the blog posts each day and doing the work as i understand it. mostly what has been coaching my soul so far, along with clearing clutter, has been bathing in the comfort of all these creative people sharing their stories.

while i was in the middle of reading you post, my 8yo came into my room in tears because tomorrow i her sister's birthday and she wants everyone to give her presents, too. this is a major struggle in our family: the power and control that the 8yo tries to wield. i can relate to her feelings, and i tell her that her feelings are always okay. then, i try to teach her that she has choices about what she does with those feelings. i think she has already written a negative story for herself, and i hope she is able use her amazingly creative mind to write the positive story.

Jamie said...

There's so much ease and a deep sigh of relief in going with...

"ya gotta live & sometimes life - just is."

and

"I am not broken. I am perfect the way I am."

Amen, sister.

peppylady said...

I don't think there a right or wrong answers to a lot of things in life.

But if we comfortable what in our heart that's right for us.

Coffee is on.

Tori said...

Those words are perfect. Inspirational. Jamie has already pointed out my favorite two sentances.

I do not repeat the affirmations during the day either. Nor do I notice what I'm feeling at any particular moment. I did that once today. I noticed I was worried and told myself so. Then I forgot about it and moved on to my school work.

When I sit down in the late afternoon to write in my Soul Coaching Journal that it when I truly think about how my day went. I look at everyhing then.

If you stopped to notice how you were feeling through the entire day I don't think you'd be able to get much done. I know I wouldn't.

originalbliss said...

Love love love the spirit letter!!!!

Jo said...

You are sooooo hard on yourself, I'm trying to catch up with you, The letter to spirit was great.

Gemma said...

Hi
I havn't posted in a couple of days either...Soul Coaching is very time consuming. I am trying to do the work, but this week has brought up alot of emotions to the surface.
Robyn...I almost fell out of my chair laughing when you said Father Michael ran the other way when he saw you.lol
love you

Leah said...

the author (and jamie) truly want you to do this at your pace in a way that feels good to you. no guilt necessary. no need to do it "perfectly" (whatever that means). try to be gentle with yourself about it all.

it sounds like you are catching some of those negative thought patterns. being aware of them (even if you don't catch them in the moment they happen) is awesome! each time you notice, you are changing the pattern.

((hugs!))

Dia said...

Hi ;) I'm another one awaiting the book's arrival - finally ordered it today! So enjoying participating on my own level - & really enjoyed your musings!
I live in Oregon, & a friend gave me one of Isha's prints (Strength?) a number of years ago! I love that flower deck - used it a few times when I was at a workshop, & had access to a healing room with them.
I got Manzanita (when I was a girl, I had a manzanita branch - all twisty & red - for small Christmas ornaments or blown eggs. Energy of Goddess love & of loving the body we are blessed to inhabit!

thanks for sharing

TheModernGoddess said...

Robyn, there is no "right way" to do the Soul Coaching program, what ever you do is perfect and what you need for this time, right now. You will still feel the power of the program whether you do part of it or all of it - that is based on my experiences and my client experiences. Be gentle on yourself! Blessings, Nicole x

http://themoderngoddess.wordpress.com

Turtleheart said...

Robyn, you sound like me-- hard on yourself! Water week has been challenging for me too, and I'm falling behind-- at least with posting.

I think we just have to do what we can do and continue to go with the flow. (water joke-- LOL)