Tuesday, November 4, 2008

day 3 ~ i wanted to know what clarity meant

there is Clarity within me and around me ~ when I read these words, I thought 'what the hell does clarity mean?'.. oh I had a vague meaning in my head but it didn't quite fit.... so I jotted a note to myself as i wrote my morning Soul Coaching pages... all the while sipping my apple cider vinegar and honey mixture.. something my Grandma did every morning and I have taken it as my own. ...

so I sat and read today's reading.. thinking of de-cluttering, wondering what I could de-clutter, as just the past few weeks I have been spring cleaning with a frenzy. My bedroom is done every week - washing the sheets, dusting and vacuuming so that doesn't need doing... however, I guess my top drawer could do with a tidy up AND THEN THERE IS MY WARDROBE, A PLACE WHERE NO MAN(or woman for that matter) DARES GO... an absolute disaster area.. but too big a job for today.... it is in my mind to do it and I will get around to it soon. I promise myself.. and I will do it.

breathing in Self acceptance, breathing out self judgement - ooh a big thing for me.. something I do struggle with....

so. there is Clarity within me and around me.... Clarity: clearness of thought; a splendour; a brightness; a radiance...

yes, like the wind/air has started to blow gently through my soul. blowing away negative thinking, judgment of self & lack of self love - making room for the divine being that I truly am, to shine. and showing me who I am meant to be: a soul full of love & light.
the blowing wind/the element of Air through Soul Coaching is showing me a clear-ness, a splendour, a brightness & radiance that is within me. Something that I never knew or accepted was there..

I went to the Gym this morning.. and as I did the circuit, I focused on my breathing... noticing where i had difficulty.. and today's song? SMACKWATER JACK - sung by Carole King and myself!! it is such a shame that we don't 'let it all hang loose' more often - we worry about rules, regulations, what is right, techniques.. all the time stifling our inner light with our negative thoughts .. maybe there is a lesson here for me

Today was a little bit of a struggle for me.. a few 'ego' thoughts of 'wasting time', and ' you won't complete it' .... I think the struggle was more that I felt that I didn't do alot with the book today. I had a little rest, it is cold today so I snuggled and when I started to feel guilty about that, I reminded myself of my commitment to be kind and gentle with myself... I haven't been able to walk this week yet.. it has been raining at the times I was planning on it... but I have been sitting in Sacred Space, looking out the window at the wind blowing the trees and the dark rain clouds... not much more I can do til it fines up.

12 comments:

Serena Lewis said...

I enjoyed reading about your day, Robyn. I'm sure we can all expect a few negative comments from our ego-selves throughout this process but it's great that you recognised it as the ego-self. I'm so glad to see you rested as you obviously needed to be gentle to yourself. I'm sure I will need a day of rest soon too. :)

Love, light and peace ~

Tracy said...

An inspiring post, Robyn!

Paula - Buenos Aires said...

Refreshing to read somebody actually debating the exercises and not taking them for granted. :)

Anonymous said...

("I have been sitting in Sacred Space, looking out the window at the wind blowing the trees and the dark rain clouds...")
I love the calming feeling this evokes in me.
I am consumed with anxiety as I try to tackle all the unpacking from just moving to a new space.

Allison said...

It was comforting to know that I am not the only one struggling with negative thoughts. Thank you for sharing this with us :]

Suzie Ridler said...

Beautiful Robyn! I know, sometimes the clarity issue can be puzzling. I suppose we need to housekeep our minds too and clear the cobwebs. And you're being gentle with yourself, excellent. It's good to question the process, we need questions. That is a very airy approach actually.

amelia said...

I find my car is the best place to sing...

Pen said...

so glad to hear that after it all, you came back to being gentle with yourself.

Jamie Ridler said...

When you described your spring cleaning and your bedroom, I felt a breath of fresh air and yes, clarity :)

I'm curious about your apple cider vinegar and honey mixture. How do you make it? What a lovely day to connect to your Grandma each morning :)

Genie Sea said...

What a wonderful day! Thank you for taking us through it! It will be great when those negatives ninnies stop nattering at us! I too had a bit of a set-back today, and as that negative ninny started nattering I shut it down. It's hard work, but we are in all of this together!

peppylady (Dora) said...

Not sure what clarity is or even clutter.
So this one was a hard one for me mainly because I have a ton question and don't know where to start.

Coffee is on.

ELLIE said...

loved your entry - breathing in self acceptance - I must try that!!
peace--Ellie