Tuesday, November 4, 2008

day 3 ~ i wanted to know what clarity meant

there is Clarity within me and around me ~ when I read these words, I thought 'what the hell does clarity mean?'.. oh I had a vague meaning in my head but it didn't quite fit.... so I jotted a note to myself as i wrote my morning Soul Coaching pages... all the while sipping my apple cider vinegar and honey mixture.. something my Grandma did every morning and I have taken it as my own. ...

so I sat and read today's reading.. thinking of de-cluttering, wondering what I could de-clutter, as just the past few weeks I have been spring cleaning with a frenzy. My bedroom is done every week - washing the sheets, dusting and vacuuming so that doesn't need doing... however, I guess my top drawer could do with a tidy up AND THEN THERE IS MY WARDROBE, A PLACE WHERE NO MAN(or woman for that matter) DARES GO... an absolute disaster area.. but too big a job for today.... it is in my mind to do it and I will get around to it soon. I promise myself.. and I will do it.

breathing in Self acceptance, breathing out self judgement - ooh a big thing for me.. something I do struggle with....

so. there is Clarity within me and around me.... Clarity: clearness of thought; a splendour; a brightness; a radiance...

yes, like the wind/air has started to blow gently through my soul. blowing away negative thinking, judgment of self & lack of self love - making room for the divine being that I truly am, to shine. and showing me who I am meant to be: a soul full of love & light.
the blowing wind/the element of Air through Soul Coaching is showing me a clear-ness, a splendour, a brightness & radiance that is within me. Something that I never knew or accepted was there..

I went to the Gym this morning.. and as I did the circuit, I focused on my breathing... noticing where i had difficulty.. and today's song? SMACKWATER JACK - sung by Carole King and myself!! it is such a shame that we don't 'let it all hang loose' more often - we worry about rules, regulations, what is right, techniques.. all the time stifling our inner light with our negative thoughts .. maybe there is a lesson here for me

Today was a little bit of a struggle for me.. a few 'ego' thoughts of 'wasting time', and ' you won't complete it' .... I think the struggle was more that I felt that I didn't do alot with the book today. I had a little rest, it is cold today so I snuggled and when I started to feel guilty about that, I reminded myself of my commitment to be kind and gentle with myself... I haven't been able to walk this week yet.. it has been raining at the times I was planning on it... but I have been sitting in Sacred Space, looking out the window at the wind blowing the trees and the dark rain clouds... not much more I can do til it fines up.

12 comments:

Serena said...

I enjoyed reading about your day, Robyn. I'm sure we can all expect a few negative comments from our ego-selves throughout this process but it's great that you recognised it as the ego-self. I'm so glad to see you rested as you obviously needed to be gentle to yourself. I'm sure I will need a day of rest soon too. :)

Love, light and peace ~

Tracy said...

An inspiring post, Robyn!

Paula - Buenos Aires said...

Refreshing to read somebody actually debating the exercises and not taking them for granted. :)

Bohemian Single Mom said...

("I have been sitting in Sacred Space, looking out the window at the wind blowing the trees and the dark rain clouds...")
I love the calming feeling this evokes in me.
I am consumed with anxiety as I try to tackle all the unpacking from just moving to a new space.

Allison said...

It was comforting to know that I am not the only one struggling with negative thoughts. Thank you for sharing this with us :]

Sacred Suzie said...

Beautiful Robyn! I know, sometimes the clarity issue can be puzzling. I suppose we need to housekeep our minds too and clear the cobwebs. And you're being gentle with yourself, excellent. It's good to question the process, we need questions. That is a very airy approach actually.

amelia said...

I find my car is the best place to sing...

pen* said...

so glad to hear that after it all, you came back to being gentle with yourself.

Jamie said...

When you described your spring cleaning and your bedroom, I felt a breath of fresh air and yes, clarity :)

I'm curious about your apple cider vinegar and honey mixture. How do you make it? What a lovely day to connect to your Grandma each morning :)

Genie Sea said...

What a wonderful day! Thank you for taking us through it! It will be great when those negatives ninnies stop nattering at us! I too had a bit of a set-back today, and as that negative ninny started nattering I shut it down. It's hard work, but we are in all of this together!

peppylady said...

Not sure what clarity is or even clutter.
So this one was a hard one for me mainly because I have a ton question and don't know where to start.

Coffee is on.

ELLIE said...

loved your entry - breathing in self acceptance - I must try that!!
peace--Ellie