who am I? what are my core beliefs?? welcome to day 1, week 1

I woke this morning and did my usual breathing meditation. With the door open to the crisp morning air, I breathed it in and realised how truly blessed I am to live in such an unpolluted part of the world. The air was crisp, cool and damp from the rain that was drizzling outside. It was a joy to be able to breathe it in. Then turning my thoughts to noises, I hear the dripping of rain on leaves and lots of birds singing, twittering in the early morning.

I printed out all the affirmations for the week and stuck them into my daily diary then lit my candles and as I lit each candle I said the affirmation for today:~

" my evaluation of myself is not who I am"

this affirmation, struck a cord with me... I started to think about how I evaluate myself and realised that I do tend to be very hard on my self - body & soul (I guess I knew this before anyhow) but it really hit home when I started to say the affirmation throughout the day.. it made me actually want to hug the woman who is constantly criticised by herself..

it was raining all day, so a perfect time to sit, read today's exercises and write in my journal...

to bring joy into my life, to continue to find inner peace, to have a strong relationship with God through meditation and prayer, to remember to forgive myself and others, to let go of my past, to laugh......

I wish to work on my frustrations, my bitterness and my anger.. but being aware of it in the first place is a big step towards healing.....working towards being even healthier......

reading today's pages, I also realised that I am a courageous person ...I never thought of myself as being courageous - people told me i was courageous when I had cancer, but I would brush it off.. saying I had to do what I had to do... but now i know that I did have courage because even though I didn't want to have treatment, even though i was afraid, petrified, I worked through those emotions and did the treatments that were needed. That is courage... (Page 23)

I sat on my cane lounge, covered in a blanket and watched the breeze outside.. a gentle breeze nothing like the gale of Friday.... how quickly the weather changes! I was going to clean my verandah, but today was cold so I will do that one day this week.... i do struggle with 'understanding my inner rules and beliefs'... I know they are there but I just cannot seem to uncover them.. or put them into words... hopefully this week, I will discover this hidden piece of myself..