Sunday, November 2, 2008

who am I? what are my core beliefs?? welcome to day 1, week 1

I woke this morning and did my usual breathing meditation. With the door open to the crisp morning air, I breathed it in and realised how truly blessed I am to live in such an unpolluted part of the world. The air was crisp, cool and damp from the rain that was drizzling outside. It was a joy to be able to breathe it in. Then turning my thoughts to noises, I hear the dripping of rain on leaves and lots of birds singing, twittering in the early morning.

I printed out all the affirmations for the week and stuck them into my daily diary then lit my candles and as I lit each candle I said the affirmation for today:~

" my evaluation of myself is not who I am"
this affirmation, struck a cord with me... I started to think about how I evaluate myself and realised that I do tend to be very hard on my self - body & soul (I guess I knew this before anyhow) but it really hit home when I started to say the affirmation throughout the day.. it made me actually want to hug the woman who is constantly criticised by herself..

it was raining all day, so a perfect time to sit, read today's exercises and write in my journal...

to bring joy into my life, to continue to find inner peace, to have a strong relationship with God through meditation and prayer, to remember to forgive myself and others, to let go of my past, to laugh......

I wish to work on my frustrations, my bitterness and my anger.. but being aware of it in the first place is a big step towards healing.....working towards being even healthier......

reading today's pages, I also realised that I am a courageous person ...I never thought of myself as being courageous - people told me i was courageous when I had cancer, but I would brush it off.. saying I had to do what I had to do... but now i know that I did have courage because even though I didn't want to have treatment, even though i was afraid, petrified, I worked through those emotions and did the treatments that were needed. That is courage... (Page 23)

I sat on my cane lounge, covered in a blanket and watched the breeze outside.. a gentle breeze nothing like the gale of Friday.... how quickly the weather changes! I was going to clean my verandah, but today was cold so I will do that one day this week.... i do struggle with 'understanding my inner rules and beliefs'... I know they are there but I just cannot seem to uncover them.. or put them into words... hopefully this week, I will discover this hidden piece of myself..

13 comments:

Fire Byrd said...

The biggest rule for me in life is: BE KIND TO ME! cause it's much too easy not to be. And I would like to make everyone aware that it is ok to feel that as well.
So be kind to you on your journey.
As for me today I'm going to be writing a lot about anger for my book.
hugs xx

Serena said...

WOW...that's a great post, Robyn! I'm finding it a little difficult to open up fully online, however, maybe I will overcome that as the weeks progress. You are indeed a courageous female and I wish you well on your journey. xo

Tori said...

It is a blessing to breath in clean crisp air. I love hearing the early morning sounds. Together the two make morning better.

You really are courageous Robyn. You have to be if you lived through cancer. Courage is necessary in life, especially hard times.

Good luck understanding your inner beliefs. As long as they are there they can be uncovered!

RubyGirl said...

i'm glad that you are being gentle with yourself today (and hopefully in days & months to come). it's so hard sometimes -- i know all about being my own worst enemy. i agree with the others -- dealing with cancer and your willingness to open up online are definitely signs of immense courage!

Jamie said...

Thank you for sharing your morning and for sharing your thoughts and discoveries. I feel like I'm sitting with you, over tea, listening to the rain and having a discussion about soul.

I celebrate with you the discovery of your courageousness! I look forward to sharing tomorrow.

Sacred Suzie said...

I also found the affirmation thought provoking Robyn. I love hearing about you sitting outside and you're right, we are so hard on ourselves.

peppylady said...

Hello Miss R. So glad you are taking part in this. I find you very inspiring to me in a spiritual sense.
I find your honesty to admit your short coming which I feel if I person can do that it a true guide for me.
Please don't get me wrong I have no trouble of anyone even telling me the non short coming of there life.

Your so well balance and the coffee is on.

Winterwood said...

Hi Robyn, I couldnt beleive it! youre doing sould coaching!!! I got the book as a christmas gift about 5yrs ago now (approx) and did it straight away, but off course its better to do it like this with other voices so youre not alone.
LOok, I should mention that this book is very powerful, I'm not sure how or why, but it does get to you in such a way that other books dont and it does what it sets out to do. But go easy, it can bring up stuff to clear, and other strange things happened when I followed this course. so enjoy the journey! hugs Krissie

Winterwood said...

oh gosh sorry and excuse the typos... I always make mistakes typing when in a hurry! (lol)

smilnsigh said...

My first thought was, how brave you are! To have the courage to work on your frustrations, your bitterness and your anger..

I know I have much anger inside, and have tried to work on it. Tried to let go of some, by concentrating on forgiveness. Because it only hurts me, to hold anger at someone in the past. Thought I had done it. Guess not. -sigh-

Thank you for allowing me to follow along with you, on this journey. With luck, I'll find a path for myself, to have even a little bit of your courageous-ness.

Please know that even if I don't comment all the time, I am reading and following with you and wishing you well, with your inner journey.

Gentle hugs,
Miss Mari-Nanci

Kelly said...

Today's affirmation really struck a chord with me too. It brought me a sense of peace in a way that I didn't even know I needed. Glad it made a difference to you as well...thanks for sharing.

Bohemian Single Mom said...

Ohhh...I LOVE this post!
I love how you spent today.
It's all about the breathing for me, repeating the affirmation in an almost hyper state of anxiety while I tried to unpack more after a big move.
This post makes me feel all relaxed now...maybe I'll go to bed early and read some more.
xo

Kate I said...

Hi Robyn...I felt like I was sitting on your porch snuggled up in a blanket with you! I haven't started the excercise's yet...I'll be propped up in bed tonight doing some journaling. Thanks for being so authentic and sharing your thoughts and insights.