I woke early this morning to the movement of the butterflies hanging over my bed, fluttering in the breeze that was created by my movements in bed.. immediately they reminded me of Daisy.(she sent them to me just before she died)
I wondered why it is so easy for me to believe that AIR exists, even though I can't see it. And why I find it so difficult to believe in Spirit, the ancestors and all the other guidance and help from beyond - all those spiritual things I can't see either, I constantly question. I never question air or wind, I just accept that they are there, that they exist. why is that? what is the difference?
while I was doing my morning blessings and my breathing, the wind came up and blew strongly outside the door, through the maple tree, rocking the branches. I noticed the iron candle holder that hangs in the tree, swaying in the breeze. I could not see the wind but here again was an example in believing in something that I cannot see.. a lovely gentle reminder from God: - to trust in those things that I cannot see.
I also realized that I breathe quite shallowly, not letting my belly relax, something I must work on. Later on in the day, the wind was gusting and the sheets were flapping in the breeze like over sized flags... it is amazing how windy it has been since Beltane.. and the beginning of my Soul Coaching journey. The air fluctuates between warm to quite cold.. Springtime in the mountains!
I actually struggled with today's task.. what kind of thing could i choose as a commitment to myself? The list was full of things I do anyway and I wanted to push myself, get out of my comfort zone.. so I thought for awhile and then it came to me like a huge prod.
SING!! YES, that will help me breathe and also help me get past feeling silly ..
so I made a commitment to sing to one song each day and it must be a gutsy, loud song. Today, I chose 'Ring of Fire' and sang along with The Man in Black
plus I also promised myself that the computer will go off at 9pm every night. that will be difficult !!
honouring my commitment to myself and others:
what are my commitments to myself, besides the new one I made today??
to be kind to myself, to be gentle with myself...
what were the commitments that I made to my SELF before I came here to live this life on Earth??
and what about commitments to others?? something I struggle with sometimes - take for instance, saying i will do something for someone, or taking on a job at a charity function or on a committee or even saying yes to a day spa with a friend, then realizing that I just cannot do it; physically, mentally or emotionally. Then having to say how I feel, stating my truth. I am honouring a commitment to myself (not to do something i don't want to do) but I am also not honouring a commitment that I made to some one else - letting someone down......
not even sure if I explained it very well here.. I guess it is all about balance.
I actually started to clear my verandah this afternoon too - something that I have been putting off for months, hanging more prayer flags up to blow in the wind seemed like the perfect thing to do for AIR week. Off to yoga tonight, I must take note of how I go with my breathing.......