Wednesday, November 19, 2008

day 18 ~ what can I say?

the day dawned absolutley brilliantly. Misty and raining. I love days like this - they stir something deep in my soul. I don't know what. Makes me want to put on some gum boots and go walking, thinking, with my hands deep in my pockets. Lost to the world in thought.

i love the affirmation - absolutely perfect. This is what I want to do, this is what I wish to be like.. the pure light of the sun in my heart and shining out to the world...

Living in the present moment is age-old.. I have read it in many, many books.. and have been told it many, many times.. but i forget. I forget to do it... I have a mind that constantly goes into the past and into the future.. worrying, agonising..

where does it come from? where does it originate from? My mum? further back to a time when I wasn't born? did my ancestors worry? It doesn't matter Robyn. what matters is that you have to the power to change it.

today as my thoughts wandered I started to think of how far I have come.. how I seem to be more peaceful, more understanding, less judgemental and I was proud of myself.. until the ego started on at me "proud of yourself?? that is not very humble. humility is what you should be striving for.. you are so vain." - is it ok to be proud of your spiritual journey? or is humility something I must strive for?? all I want really is to one with God. That is all I ask.

I have this burning love & desire to be at peace with my God. I think my mind is getting things mixed up between 'soul coaching' and 'eat, pray love'... I am reading both and they are crossing over into my thoughts and journalling...

9 comments:

Night Owl said...

Of course you should be proud of yourself! I've been reading Soul Coaching a bit tonight, and I think that it is part of the programme, to be good to yourself, and see the good in yourself, rather than just our faults. You can be proud of yourself, you are a good person. You can be proud without being arrogant(I think that is one of our fears)

Kathryn Knoll said...

Anyone who has ever tried meditation, (the invitation to give the busy mind just a single, simple thought, or, more to the point the directing of the awareness to one simple thing, like the breath or one's inner energy flow...or whatever you choose to consistently direct the awareness to) there is the undeniable fact that we will experience mind chatter/ego getting in the way of the attention. The mistake, is that when this happens, these monkey mind thoughts, we think we are doing something wrong or our mind would be quiet. But, the truth of the matter is: The mind does chatter and judge and get in the way of the attention. The thoughts are all consuming and we begin to identify with the thoughts. We succeed at meditation by simply redirecting our attention away from the monkey mind and its chatter each and every time we notice our attention has strayed. Even if it is for the "gazzionth" time our attention has been diverted. The mind will chatter. We who want to be in harmony in our lives can manage this crazy making phenominon by choosing to re direct our attention back to our chosen focus. All of creation and everything that is part of it, including us, is awakening, and becoming more and more conscious of the Magnificence. To resist this awakening is futile and just causes suffering. Monkey mind activity is resistance to the great awakening. You can understand why there would be this resistance for our Monkey mind, after all. When it creates all this drama it gets a lot of attention, and seems to thrive on our inner and outer suffering. It is a perfect feedback loop to get more of the same it just keeps being a distraction. The only remedy is to keep bringing the attention back to our point of focus.Much pain has been stored in our physical being, so when we begin to relax during meditation, all the pent up stuff stored in the nervous system is released and more stuff surfaces to cause the monkey mind to start up its incessant chatter. When you notice the distraction, simply choose to refocus the attention. You only "do it wrong" when you just give up the practice and let the monkey mind win. The more we chose to focus our attention on this now moment, the more peaceful our world becomes. And this is what I know, for sure!

Kavindra said...

I too find that Soul Coaching is getting mixed up, mixed in, with other things I am reading or thinking about or hearing about this month. I think that's a good thing - it's integrating itself. Alot of times I feel like others may not get why I post certain things on particular days of soul coaching, but there is a synchronicity happening that works its magic as much as the book does.

That's just my opinion. It seems like whatever comes along to make us think and question and go deeper and grow, well, let it all mix together and see what we create from it!

I'm going to have to read this Eat Pray Love.

Serena said...

WOW....I couldn't have said it any better than Kathryn. Focus yourself in each present moment, the Now, and the rest will fall into place. You already ARE consciousness - at one with 'God' - but the mind chatter/ego-self gets in the way of you awakening to that because the ego-self has had a lifetime of conditioning. That can be changed in an instant by consciously choosing to stay focused in the present moment.

Btw, I've also read Eat, Pray Love...great book!

love, light and peace,
serena

gemma said...

Sending Sunlight from my heart to yours. Pass me a star please!
Much love
xx

Winterwood said...

one day it will ALL fall into place!

Winterwood said...

Ok had to come back...lol....yes some days I get it... some days I dont and I get annoyed at how 'dumb' I feel. I think it all depends on mood and emotions on the day. If I'm tired I dont get anything, and on a good day I can see forever as the saying goes. I dont think anyone ever just clicks suddenly and goes - there now I know it all and it all makes sense now and satys that way. Anyone who does is LYING! How else would all those soul writers ever need to write another book again if they kew it all and it all made sense perfectly! please be gentle on yourself Robyn! I get th feeling though that youre the happiest in your garden and find most peace there. Use that as a tool, sto find peace there and happiness. maybe you will be able to lead us thru a garden soul coach one day? simple pleaseures...thats MY motto.

Dia said...

Once an astrologer told me I was influenced by my FATHER's worry! I thought of my mom more the 'worry wort' (dad's words!) . . . & it was hard for me to grasp. Later, during a rebirthing session (I only did a couple, kind of fun!) I got in touch with his worry the day I was born. It was a planned C-section, & I arrived right on time (just before that 8 AM projected time), & there he was, sitting in the waiting room, waiting, & waiting, & waiting, . . . my mom's sis, who'd worked in hospitals, called to see how things had gone, & found out before he did that we were A-OK!! He must have been frantic!


May the light shine in your heart & thru your eyes today!!

TheModernGoddess said...

Be proud... it's ok to be proud, you should be proud because you've come so far. Blessings, Nicole x

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