Friday, November 7, 2008
day 6 ~ an odd sort of day
Denise described me to a T. I am absolutely full of internal clutter - thinking(constantly), analyzing(constantly), rationalizing; plus chastising and berating myself(constantly). Most times I don't realize I am doing it because I have been doing it for so long. My mind runs away for ages before I notice I am doing this to myself.
I had a very odd day today - I woke with all good intentions. Then I decided that maybe I could clean out my stored emails & clean up my yahoo chat list... Daisy is still on there and I have many of her emails from when I first met her... so I emailed Gemma & asked her to hold my hand in support, as I thought that it may be time for me to 'let Daisy go' .. then went to visit Cats in the Kitchen.... not a good idea. I cried and sobbed as I read her story, when I realized that I will never get to meet her in this life.. so it is definately still not time for me to let her go fully....(funny thing is, that this weekend would have been her birthday... synchronicity??)
it has been a harrowing day with one thing and another & all I could do today was utter the affirmation. But that's ok.
(for those of you who are wondering who Daisy is, you can read about her here: Daisy's blog)